am back!!!!!!

Hay!!!
me back!! back after more than four years!!! :-) one of my friends suggested that i should start writing again. so here i am. how long will i continue or whether i'll continue here or not am not sure. still its a nice feeling to be back in known territories.

Lot has happenned over these last four years. I have changed so much. and to be honest---- me not very happy with it. lost a relationship and a friend in turn........... one of the reasons why am here, need to fill the void that he has left behind. it hurts like hell!!! but can't do anything about it. relationship and all to chalta rehta hai but when you lose a freind of more than twenty years in the process than thats the sadest and hardest part to deal with.
You can not leave him and you can not be with him. you are concerned but then you can not show it. i thought i'll be able to move on and i have but its only limited to the working days. weekend comes and along come the memories, then i run here and there trying to push them away. problem is jaati hi nai yaar!! no matter what i do there is a thought at the back of the mind, oh!! my best friend is not there with me anymore!!
The person in whom i confided the most, who used to be the first one to come to my mind when i had anything worth sharing.

So i dedicate this post to My Dearest Freind. Miss you dear!! :-)

Good Night!!!

Long time.........

Its been so long since i last wrote anything.

Was so damn busy with my job. Don't even get 5 mins for myself. :-(
Am writing after so much time that am confused what to write and what not.
Completely out of flow.

Will come back when i'll be in form.
Waise i'll have plenty of time in near future for myself i believe.
People are getting really busy and really distant. :-)

Thats life. Keeps on moving. Nothing stays forever.

Cya

Turning Point.....(you don't need to read this one)

Hmmm yes you don't need to read this one
cause theres nothing for you in it........




Just when i start believing that a particular arrangement is final and will last for some time, there comes a new turn. This time its from studies to job again.

Got over with all the formalities today will be joining in two days time. Was pretty happy when i got the news today that last of the hurdles has been crossed. Don't know the place of posting so thats the only area of my concern now. lets see.

One part of me wants to move out of the city so that i can move on in my personal life as well and one part of me wants to stay back. Each has its own reasons. Lets see destiny choses what.
I am not gonna say what i want. Cause i never get that. So whatever will come my way i'll accept it. Am too scared to celebrate even. Still can't believe it. Can't believe that for once i actually got what i wanted. :-) Lets see i hope life goes on like this only, giving me once in rare blue moon something that i want with all my dear heart, if not more than that. Waise i am not a very demanding person.......... ;-) lol.

Aur...................
Kya bataun???? I have a very mixed si feeling. want some changes in my life. Kaash! wo ho paate. :-( things have changed so much. Relationships have changed so much. People have changed so much. I have changed so much. Now all this is for good or for bad that only time will tell. waise achha hi hoga. Be positive Chitra!!!!!

Something inside me is in deep sleep. Don't know when it'll wake up. But i know one thing for sure the day it'll wake up life will be beautiful again. At present its going good but not excellent.
Chalo time will take care of everything. What i have to bother about at the moment is my career.

Goodnight :-)

Arbitrary

As they say:-
"Duniya gol hai,
Har paap ka double role hai."

True! Very true!!

What we do to others definitely comes back to us
and what others do to us, we pass it on.

Theek bhi hai. Why should we keep something that is not ours. Pass it on or give it back to the same person.

Even i have something of the sort with me. Its been pretty long since i got it.
Am not able to find out what to do with it. Can't give it back to the person. Can't pass it on either.
The thing is something beyond me. Can't do it to someone delibrately. Chhodo. Ho jaayega iska bhi kuchh.

A friend of mine called me a fool yesterday. Reason being i am not thinking about my interests. Thats what he thinks. Reality is I don't want what he thinks i do. All that i am not able to understand is why certain things happened in my life. This is the only part of my life where i am not able to see any good.

Chalo i shall leave now
Have already said much more then i intended to.
Bye Cya

Changes...............

Things are Changing. Big time. Be it personal life or my career.
Thats all i can tell you for the time being.

I don't know whats happening all around me. Don't know how my life is gonna be like 20 days from now.

Mystery and confusion is all i have around me.

Chalo whatever it is, badiya hai.

Cya

Strange Day....

Ajeeb sa din nikala aaj.
Every single person was strange.

Met an old friend after a long long time. It was awsome. It felt as if nothing was wrong between us ever. :-)
Strangest of all the things was my behaviour, my way of looking at things.
The things that used to pinch me once sounded funny to me today. When i looked back at my life till now, felt quite satisfied.

Something else coming to my mind. Things are changing. For good or for bad? only time can tell.

A song coming to my mind right now:-

Ajeeb Dastan hai ye
Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si
Na wo samajh sake na hum......................




Hmmmmmmmmmm
Sai hai.

Chalo cya.

Boring

Life becomes so boring the moment i enter my house. Nothing to do. Don't even feel like studying. While in college time just flies away.

Han to frehser's Party is coming up. These days busy in organising that only still i get so much time to waste around.

Chocolate really helps when you are not feeling good. Tested it just a few minutes ago. Ate half a bar of chocolate and i am feeling so much better. ;-) lol.

Am looking for something to fill the empty time. Something creative. lets see where do i land.
Any suggestions are welcome. Plsssss help me.

The problem is eventually eveything loses its charm and the novelty. Can't there be something that'll always seem interesting to us no matter how many times we do it. Kitna achha ho na if something like this happens. Life will be so much easier then.




Lol. Just kidding. Feeling lazy and tired thats why saying all this. Achievement of complete satisfaction or contentment will result in "no growth at all" situation. Stagnation is the last thing i want in life. Not even the last thing. i don't want it at all. Infact no one does.



Have you ever heard a song "Sabse pichhe hum khade" ?
Sunaun?
Ok here it goes...........


Zara nazar utha ke dekho
bethe hain hum yahin.
Bekhabar mujh se kyo ho
itne bhi bure hum nahi.

Zamane ki baaton mein uljho na
Hai ye aasan.
Khud se jo agar tum puchho
hain hum tumhaare ke nahi.

Teri aankhon ka jaadu
puri duniya pe hai
Duniya ki is bheed mein
sabse pichhe hum khade.

Mehfilen aayi aur gayi
log aaye aur gaye
Tum jo aaj aaye ho
dil mein ho bas gaye
Muskura ke baat taalo na
fir miloge jo kahin
Dekhna yahi kahoge
itne bure the hum nahin.

Teri aankhon ka jaadu
puri duniya pe hai
Duniya ki is bheed mein
sabse pichhe hum khade.

Clap Clap :-)

(Or you feel like throwing rotten tomatoes and Eggs at me? hunh?)



I find the song really cute because of its simple and honest approach. A down to earth quality seems to be there.
The person singing it(read: going through such a situation) seems so bichara sa.

Chalo cya